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For people experiencing infertility, wanting a baby is a craving unlike any other. The intensity of their longing is matched only by the complexity of the emotional maze they must navigate.
With insight and compassion, Drs. Janet Jaffe, Martha Diamond, and David Diamond-specialists in the field of Reproductive Psychology who have each experienced their own struggle with infertility-give couples the tools to:
*Reduce their sense of helplessness and isolation
*Identify their mates' coping styles to erase unfair expectations
*Listen to their "unsung lullabies"--their conscious and unconscious dreams about having a family--to mourn the losses of infertility and move on.
Ground-breaking, wise, and compassionate, Unsung Lullabies is a necessary companion for anyone coping with infertility.
- Sales Rank: #416829 in Books
- Brand: Holtzbrinck Publishers
- Published on: 2005-06-01
- Released on: 2005-05-12
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .3" w x 5.50" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
- Unsung Lullabies Understanding and Coping with Infertility
From Publishers Weekly
This empathetic self-help book argues that when couples find out that they can't have a baby, they're inflicted with an "unacknowledged trauma that leaves them feeling not only frustrated and angry, but sad, frightened, confused, guilty, overwhelmed and out of control." Having found little support for their own struggles with infertility trauma, Jaffe and the Diamonds (all clinical psychologists) co-founded The Center for Reproductive Psychology in San Diego, Calif. Here they sympathetically cover the core psychological issues of the matter, including the initial shock and denial, the persistent feelings of not being "healthy" or "normal," the relationship problems, the loss of sexual privacy, the grief and the belief that you're not really an adult until you have a child. Using their own and their patients' experiences, the authors offer many approaches to these problems: journaling, talking about infertility with your partner, practicing rituals to validate the losses, incorporating structure into your daily life and seeking out support groups and therapy. But the most important step, they say, is to recognize infertility for the trauma that it is. "Your losses are real," they explain. "Infertility does not merely represent a recent failed pregnancy, but a whole lifetime of dreams, hopes and plans that have gone horribly awry." One in ten adults of reproductive age is affected by infertility. For them, and for the friends and professionals who want to help them, this book provides compassionate insight into infertility's often unacknowledged ramifications.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
“Must reading for the thousands of people struggling with the pain of infertility.” ―Christiane Northrup, M.D.
“I would HIGHLY recommend this book as required reading for anyone with infertility, all who work with infertility, as well as the families of persons with infertility.” ―Marjut Herzog, President of RESOLVE, South Florida
“A new, creative approach that avoids psychological and medical jargon and makes the issues accessible to any reader.” ―Miriam Tasini, Professor of Psychiatry, UCLA Medical School
About the Author
Janet Jaffe, Ph.D., Martha Ourieff Diamond, Ph.D., David J. Diamond, Ph.D., are co-founders of The Center for Reproductive Psychology in San Diego, California.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Gold standard, must read book on infertility!
By Kasey
To me, this book is a gold-standard, must-read for anyone experiencing infertility or who have friends/family experiencing it. It gave me so much more insight into a condition I thought I understood and also offered simple explanations to very complex emotions and concepts that were very eye opening to me. I read the book and then my mom also read it, so we were able to have a more informed & supportive conversation around a difficult issue. Most infertility-related websites devolve into anxious conversations of acronyms around treatment options rather than educating or supporting you or teaching you how to find peace. This book is different and INVALUABLE because it's just the opposite: it teaches you about the conditions, social & emotional ramifications, and then skills on how to deal with it, plus information on treatment options. I'm eternally grateful for this book and would recommend it to anyone.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
As I read many of the pages it felt like the author's were writing about me--and to me
By MJKunk
I chased the dream of having children for over 15 years before finally giving it up and I still harbor a lot of sadness and pain. This book was the first real "support" for what I have been through that I have ever received. As I read many of the pages it felt like the author's were writing about me--and to me. I recommend this book to anyone who has experienced infertility--it really helped me to put things in perspective, to see that I am not alone and to understand that my feelings are not wrong or shameful.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Everything is normal
By Emily
I love how this was written from a psychology perspective. This book contains a lot of truths and good points I'd never really thought about before, such as your reproductive story, your expectations and how they differ. I felt like my feelings were validated, and there's a freedom in accepting yourself and allowing yourself to feel emotions, even the ones that you feel guilty about. Anger, depression, jealousy, etc... they're all normal. I highly recommend this book, I have read several books on infertility and I am sure I will refer to this book in the future, as it covers the entire journey.
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